And thus “gay” was added to my search bar. I just wanted to feel something to feel good.Īfter previewing hundreds of videos I came to understand what worked for me and what didn’t. Learning about sex was the last thing on my mind. I had all this pent up sexual energy and my midnight search escapades felt too good to stop. The only bit of wiggle room I could find was matters of personal pleasure.Īround the age of 13 I gave into the urge to explore porn. So when it came to dating and sex, I circumvented the hell out of that s**t. Anything that contextualised women as sexual made me freeze up like a kid getting caught sneaking a midnight slice of cake. For me this manifested as “your fav”, an avoidant mentality and action plan. Living a lonely life that conflicts with the desires of your body, mind and soul. Secondly, it is arguably the most consensual porn genre available online.įor most queers, growing up closeted creates an internal tension. The first being that gay male porn allows women loving women to be sexual without addressing any internalised fears or questions surrounding their sexuality. My theory concerning the universality of this experience is twofold.
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